My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
