I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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