don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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