I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
