she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
