My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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