i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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