i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
