Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
where are my pants?
in the oven.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
