This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
