I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you win again, gameday.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
