i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
