HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
