Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
