So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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