dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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