party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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