dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
