Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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