I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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