today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
