He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
