i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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