so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
