did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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