Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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