I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize