'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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