I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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