I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Randomize
