If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
