Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
