scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
