He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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