oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
