I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
"it" just moved
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize