life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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