got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize