what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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