wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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