Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
