Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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