how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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