Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
