you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
