We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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