some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
and you fell through a lawn chair
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
