The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
then he tried to convert me to islam
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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