But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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