My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
