Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I love you.
Bad choice
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
