We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
