I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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