Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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