I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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