I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
