I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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