Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
