I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize